I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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