Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
