That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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