I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
