Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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