i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
