There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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