sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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