Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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