he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
