sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As shirtless as possible
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
