when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
