I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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