Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
