Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
