I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
