Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
