Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
