One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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