Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just wanna soil my oats bro
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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