No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
