miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What happened to fro yo and sex?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
