If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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