this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
