How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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