aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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