I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
