is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
