that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
