Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
