My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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