Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
