what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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