Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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