Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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