I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
