I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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