I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
