Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
