actually, I'm a sock model
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
