there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
