The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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