ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
