dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
