doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
