FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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