It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
