That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I love you. Go after that dick
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
