so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I only lived at night.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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