but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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