On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Randomize
