Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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