Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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