i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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