My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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