My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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