I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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