Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
