Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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